5 Simple Steps to Be, Do, and Have Anything
Get What You Want, Now.
I was behind again in getting ready to lead a workshop and jammed up with work when my alarm went off, reminding me it was time to leave for a session at the gym with my trainer. Frustrated and resigned, I picked up the phone to cancel my workout and pay yet another no-show fee. This was not a good thing. At least I could get back to prepping my workshop for that evening. It was supposed to be on how to have anything you want in life, but the irony of the moment—my current inability to have what I wanted right now—was overwhelming.
I had been thinking about this workshop all week and was planning to use an example about my messy office. But at that moment I realized that my fitness was the real mess in my life. I weighed about 200 pounds, though had long ago stopped checking the scale. I did my best to suck in my gut for the mirror, bought loose clothing that flattered my ungainly shape, and tried not to think about it. In those days, I had a really great gym membership near my office, with a private locker where I kept my clothes and gear, and a personal trainer scheduled two to three times per week. The club even washed my workout clothes for me! All I had to do was show up, but instead I paid plenty to NOT exercise, every week. It was really a prime example for my workshop.
The exercise I was to teach was one that I first learned from a tape by Zig Ziglar that my dad had shared with me as a teen. It was called BE-DO-HAVE. You may well have heard it or read about it from other trainers or executive coaches. The premise is that we incorrectly focus on having certain things before we allow ourselves to do what we want, and before we finally become who we want to be. In the Be-Do-Have exercise, we first examine our current having, doing and being. Then we flip the whole thing to discover a way of being that inspires us to act differently in the present. I’ll explain.
I looked at myself and saw that I had 200 pounds on the scale, a chubby guy’s wardrobe, a fancy gym membership, a demanding job, responsibilities, a young family, and no time to exercise. What I was doing was canceling workouts, eating fast food at my desk, sleeping poorly, worrying about my health, and hoping that I would live long enough to see my kids grow up. When I considered who and how I was being, I could see that I was resigned to one day having a heart attack or diabetes, like my grandparents, and realized that I had given up on fitness after a couple of embarrassing moments swimming and running way back in the 7th grade.
What did I want? I wanted somebody else’s genetics. I wanted to be like those fit guys running down by the water. If I had that DNA, I would be out running too, and doing lots of active and outrageous things. I would be proud of myself, active, fully alive, and inspired!
Then I considered that way of being and I realized that, while I wasn’t very proud of myself at that time, I could actually be active, alive, and inspired with whatever genetics I already had. Those three words lit me up and moved me, and I claimed them as my new way of being.
Now all I had to do was to consider what new actions were consistent with this new way of being. I knew it would have to be something outrageous, so when I overheard a woman talking about a marathon, I knew that an endurance event would be just thing for a guy like me who couldn’t run around the block. I decided that I was going to do a triathlon, because that sounded challenging and interesting, and I found one to register in and commit myself to. I had the bike, and now all I needed to do was to learn to swim properly and start running again.
There were many challenges along way, but I did finish that first triathlon and went on to do over 40 more. I lost 40 pounds in the process and bought a whole new wardrobe. I became one of “those guys” running down by the water. I was proud of myself again, and I have since coached countless others to conquer their own lives and business challenges.
These simple steps have helped me to produce business breakthroughs and identify amazing insights in most every area of my life. Our way of being drives our actions and leads to our results. BE-DO-HAVE is much more powerful than HAVE-DO-BE. I’ve got a simple worksheet you can use to do this yourself. You can download it and use it now, or share it with your team. I’ll even give you a free coaching call to work though something in your life! Click here now for the free download and the free coaching call.